It was leading up to Halloween. I wanted to dress up like Lieutenant Uhura from Star Trek. Why? I absolutely adore her. If I could trade places with anyone in the sci-fi universe, it would be her. She's all smart and sassy and just awesome. I thought it would be the perfect costume. I have the boots she wears, and I could easily re-create Zoe Saldana's look with the long, sleek, black ponytail and the sharp cat-eye liquid liner. (If only I was as pretty as Zoe is... sigh) She's also chief communications officer on the Enterprise, and I run the sound board during the live broadcast of my school's news program. I know it's not the same, but we both have headsets and play with switches, buttons and lights on a high-techy board, manipulating sounds and stuff like that. I was so pumped about it.

But then, my friend and my mom talked me out of it. They both said I would look "dorky." They both had absolutely good intentions. Both were looking out for me, I suppose. So, I obliged and caved, and I didn't get to be Uhura for a day. I reasoned that no one would know who I was, and I would be the only person clad in Star Trek gear.
But I was so, so wrong.
I walk into AP Bio class on Thursday, and, to my surprise, my teacher was dressed up in a Red Star Trek Engineering costume. The dress, the boots, the everything. Turns out, all the math and science teachers were in Star Trek apparel. It was like being on the Enterprise. Then, the Star Trek theme song started chiming from the PA system.
I was beyond bummed.
The Trekkie spirit was all around me, and I wasn't even wearing a costume! Just some yoga pants and a sweatshirt. To be completely honest, I was a little heart broken. I couldn't believe I caved! Why did I do that?
Was it because I was afraid of what people would have thought? Most likely.
As I was talking about the costume more and more with my friend about 3 weeks before heart-breaking Halloween was thrust upon me, she started asking questions like, "Why are you so into Star Trek all of the sudden? How long have you been obsessed with Star Trek? Do you watch the TV show? Why do you like it so much?" Those questions made me extremely uncomfortable, and she kept asking them. Again, she asked with good intentions, but I just wanted to scream in her face "Why does it matter?"
In consequence, I chickened out of the costume because I didn't think I was like "Trekkie" enough to pull it off.
But in all honesty, why does it matter how my liking for Star Trek started? I felt like she was questioning the legitimacy of my liking for Star Trek. It made me feel defensive and awkward. I didn't expect such a strong reaction from myself, but I felt it nonetheless.
I'm going to fully disclose the origins of my "fanhood" for all things Trek: It started with the movies. I loved them. I started to get more into it from there, watching the original TV show, window-shopping for merch, following some lovely tumblrs. I bought my Red Star Trek Engineering phone case from ThinkGeek.com back in September. I picked red because it matched Uhura's dress. So, I mean, you could say that I'm not an OG fan because I started liking Trek from the blockbuster movies, but I personally don't think that makes me any less of a "fan."
Now that I think about it, a lot of things that I am now a fan of are due to "late" jump-ins. I jumped on the Sherlock wagon a bit late. I hopped in the Doctor Who fandom extremely late. But that doesn't make me any less dedicated or make me like it for all the wrong reasons. Some people might even presume that I'm liking all these geeky things because it's "cool" to be a "geek girl" now. That's total BULL. I'm not a part of these fandoms to boost my self-image. If anything, I'm in these fandoms because I want to escape myself and the world I currently inhabit.
Plus, I really don't think a "fake fangirl" would buy a Trek phonecase, a TARDIS scarf, make a paper Who-Lock TARDIS for her desk, and break 5 needles while hand-sewing a red buttonhole on her peacoat lapel so she could have matching red buttonholes with Sherlock Holmes.
My point is: No one has the right to question why someone does or doesn't like things, and no one has the right to make you feel inferior about your legitimacy in your fandom of choice.
I'm a fangirl. I maybe semi-new to this fandom world, but that doesn't make me any less of a fan than the next person. I am a Trekkie, a Whovilan, a Sherlockian, a Hiddlestoner, a Pine-Nut, and a member of the Cumber Collective. And I'm damn proud.