So I ask America’s young people to take a look at their views, ask why they think what they think, why they think so extremely, and to take a look at the facts that support their view and oppose their view. I would also ask America’s older folk to challenge the views of the young people around them. They shouldn’t be afraid to play Devil’s Advocate, and if they are, it only shows the lack of substance and spine their views really have. The Israel-Gaza issue has polarized the American youth to a severe level, and if this trend continues beyond the conflict at hand, I fear how my generation will handle the future’s great and inevitable problems.
Aug 16, 2014
Israel-Gaza: The Polarization of America’s Youth
(Note: I initially wrote this in the hopes that it would be an Op-Ed in another digital publication, but that didn't work out - so why not post my own content on my own blog? Just to remind you guys: These opinions are totally and completely my own and no one else's. I hope you enjoy.)
Dead bodies scattered amongst destroyed roads, blown-up buildings, tragic scenes at hospitals and hysterical, grieving mothers. These are the images we have seen and heard throughout all mediums of media - social, broadcast, print, digital - coming from within the confines Israel and Gaza.
But let’s cut to the chase and lay down the facts of what really happened and what’s happening now: Three Israeli teenagers were kidnapped in the West Bank and killed, their bodies found 18 days after the kidnapping occurred. Israel arrested close to 300 Palestinians, many of them members of Hamas, who denied taking part in the kidnapping. 10 Palestinians were killed during the arrests. On the same night the bodies were found, Hamas shot rockets into Israel and Israel performed air strikes in Gaza. Then, in what believes to be retaliation, a Palestinian teenager was kidnapped and burned to death. This sparked riots in Palestinian areas, and 3 arrests were made to those responsible for his death. Hamas fired rockets into Israel, who minimized casualties with their Iron Dome missile defense system. Israel then launched their on-going offensive called “Operation Protective Edge” to destroy cross-border tunnels between Hamas and Israel. Since then, Israel and Gaza have been and are currently in a relatively successful ceasefire, in contrast to the many that have passed prior to this one. The number of Gaza deaths have exceeded 1,900 since the start of this conflict according to some sources, Israel has had 67 deaths thus far.
People on both sides are dying and have committed terrible acts. And even if the death count is lopsided, innocent people are dying on both sides of the conflict and and both sides have received artillery fire and missile fire. Yet, the American youth is picking sides, without even blinking or thinking twice.
There are many reasons as to why Americans, especially the younger set, are so polarized when it comes to this issue. The primary reason, however, is that majority of young Americans are lazy when it comes to analyzing current events, and they only internalize one side of the picture. They take the situation at face value, as it is presented to them, and they let the influences that surround them dictate their viewpoint.
They only read the headline and scan the front-page picture. They look at the #Gaza hashtag on Twitter and see graphic images of the dead. They see tweets reporting destruction under the #IsraelUnderFire hashtag and automatically feel their blood boil out of love for their homeland. They also look at the big and colorful chart at the top of a web article displaying of the death toll on both sides, but fail to actually read the article for context regarding Israel’s Iron Dome or Hamas’ civilian shields. As a result, they memorize the heavily imbalanced number of deaths on each side, like they would a score at a baseball game, without any cognizance as to why those numbers are so different. They think: dead people = bad. Who’s killing them? Israel. In consequence, they think: Israel = bad. Then they tweet “#FreePalestine” and spout off other Anti-Israel sentiments. The same train of thought also applies to those who support Israel and are against Gaza without knowing exactly why. Young people often feel the need to have an opinion about hot topics, so they patch one up with the superficial knowledge they have on whatever the topic is. They want to be “trendy” and “in-the-know,” and if it is trending on Twitter, they have to seem like they know all about it.
Celebrities are prime examples for this rather stunted thought process and are fuel to the flame of obtaining and proclaiming extreme views without considering the various nuances of the issue. From Selena Gomez to Rihanna, many have dished out the “#FreePalestine” tweet, only to be bombarded with offense from their Jewish fans and others who are in support of Israel. Of course, backtracking and claiming the tweet as a “mistake” follows. But young and rather impressionable Americans who are obsessed with celebrity culture will, of course, follow in their misguided footsteps and will display their support for Palestine anyhow.
It’s also no question that young people’s views on the world are heavily influenced by their parents, friends, and family. Their environment shaping who they are is natural. If you are in a Jewish household, most likely you will be in support of Israel, and same with Islam and Hamas. But what worries me is that many of my peers don’t feel the need to actively examine the other side of the issue, or even give it the time of day. Without even having comprehensive knowledge of the topic at hand, they already have an opinion. Being surrounded by friends who are just as uninformed won’t help the matter either, and if these young people are eighteen years of age like I am, having uninformed voters at the voting booth is and will be a serious issue for America.
So I ask America’s young people to take a look at their views, ask why they think what they think, why they think so extremely, and to take a look at the facts that support their view and oppose their view. I would also ask America’s older folk to challenge the views of the young people around them. They shouldn’t be afraid to play Devil’s Advocate, and if they are, it only shows the lack of substance and spine their views really have. The Israel-Gaza issue has polarized the American youth to a severe level, and if this trend continues beyond the conflict at hand, I fear how my generation will handle the future’s great and inevitable problems.
So I ask America’s young people to take a look at their views, ask why they think what they think, why they think so extremely, and to take a look at the facts that support their view and oppose their view. I would also ask America’s older folk to challenge the views of the young people around them. They shouldn’t be afraid to play Devil’s Advocate, and if they are, it only shows the lack of substance and spine their views really have. The Israel-Gaza issue has polarized the American youth to a severe level, and if this trend continues beyond the conflict at hand, I fear how my generation will handle the future’s great and inevitable problems.
Jul 5, 2014
Book Club #5: Divergent
I was persuaded to read this book by a friend of mine... and I read this book with vigor.
What can I say? This book has everything. Action, romance, excitement, competition, drama, life-and-death situations, literally everything. It transports you to a totally different world, and the characters are so vivid and dynamic, all of them. It's so easy to get lost inside that world, it's amazing and addicting. Is it a classic novel, one of "literary merit?" Probably no. But if you want a book that will be a joy to read and will make you appreciate the excellence of leisure reading after years of assigned high school reading, this book is it.
I got SO addicted that I bought the sequel to the book two days after I finished the first. I'm currently reading Insurgent and it's pretty damn good too.
I also HAD to watch the film adaptation of Divergent right after I read the book, so I watched it online. The movie moved a bit fast for me, but it was mostly true to the book, which made it pretty good. I just love Shailene Woodley too, the girl who plays Tris, and Theo James, the guy who plays Four, is reaaaallllllyyyy attractive. That just made the movie a lot better.
I realize that I haven't given anything meaningful about the book at all. It's probably because I'm still not finished with the story, because I haven't finished reading the rest of the trilogy. I promise that when I do finish (which will probably be very soon), I will do a proper book analysis. :)
HAPPY READING!
I got SO addicted that I bought the sequel to the book two days after I finished the first. I'm currently reading Insurgent and it's pretty damn good too.
I also HAD to watch the film adaptation of Divergent right after I read the book, so I watched it online. The movie moved a bit fast for me, but it was mostly true to the book, which made it pretty good. I just love Shailene Woodley too, the girl who plays Tris, and Theo James, the guy who plays Four, is reaaaallllllyyyy attractive. That just made the movie a lot better.
I realize that I haven't given anything meaningful about the book at all. It's probably because I'm still not finished with the story, because I haven't finished reading the rest of the trilogy. I promise that when I do finish (which will probably be very soon), I will do a proper book analysis. :)
HAPPY READING!
Jul 1, 2014
The Comprehensive, Cool Girl's Guide to: Abbot Kinney
Abbot Kinney, otherwise known as A.B.K for people who like to abbreviate things (like me), is the hippest block in Venice Beach. Why? It's more upscale than the boardwalk (read: less grimey, less hobos, less weed than the boardwalk) but it hasn't lost the classic Venice funk, and the vibe attracts cool hipsters from all over town. It has great shopping, good food, and interesting sights. Never been or only been once? Lucky for you, I'd like to consider myself a relatively cool person and I live only 2 blocks from from said street. So here's a handy dandy guide for all y'all hipsters out there...
I'll start with food, because food is fantastic:
Abbot's Pizza Co. - If you want a quick, cheap, and yummy bite to eat, Abbot's Pizza is your place. They have pizza with their signature "bagel crust," and it's heavenly. They also have gluten-free crust (hell yes) and tons and tons of pizza options. My choice slice: The Salad Pizza on gluten-free crust. Just try it, it's really something else.
Lemonade - There are Lemonades in a lot of lovely places in LA, and they're good all over. The one on ABK is no exception. Go there to pick up one of their signature lemonades before you start perusing the shops. It's so fast, so easy, so friggin' yummy. My fave: Blueberry Mint Lemonade and the gluten-free Chai Spiced Almond cookie.
Gjelina - If you wanna go out for an expensive brunch or dinner with an ambiance to match, Gjelina is your place. Ritzy folks with a funky tilt inhabit the restaurant to full capacity. Go there with your $300 denim, a touch of Coachella on your finery, and make sure you look nonchalant about it. While I have only been there once, my parents have been there several, and they've seen more than a handful of celebrities during their meal. (Although, rumor has it that celebs aren't really frequenting there anymore, it's gone too mainstream.) My pick: the Tuscan Kale salad. It's really good.
GTA (Gjelina Take Away) - So let's say that you want some damn good food for lunch but don't want to deal with the whole sit-down schpeal. GTA is your place. It's right next to Gjelina and is basically a food bar. You line up, order, pick up your food, and sit a nice ivy-shaded alleyway right next to the building to eat. The interior design is a thing of beauty, take note of the white marble. My food of choice: the Brisket Banh Mi sandwich - it's out of this world.
Intelligentsia - If you don't mind paying nearly five bucks for a dreamy cuppa, then this is also your place. The coffee is excellent here, and I'm a self-proclaimed coffee snob so my compliment is well-deserved. Grab your beverage and sit outside to people-watch in the sunshine, but make sure you bring a "deep" book, a newspaper, or your MacBook with you. Without it, you'd be branded as a non-local, which is almost as bad as a tourist around this neck of the woods (and we wouldn't want that now, would we?). What I Order: The Angeleno, or an Americano.
TOMS Roasting Co. - If you go inside the TOMS store on ABK, you'll notice they have a coffee bar inside, and if you go in the back, you'll see they have a pretty roomy outside seating area with comfy pillows, tables, coffee house music, and the like. But be warned my friends: the likelihood that you will sit near someone who has BO due to their hippy cause to conserve water is around 3x more likely here than any other spot on ABK, and they chances that you'll witness some very uncomfortable one-sided flirting from some creepy dude going on across from you is nearly 4x more likely. If you really want to observe the brunt of Venice culture, go here. I usually just order a latte and tote my laptop with me to unwind and people watch.
Kreation - I go here for one reason and one reason only - the Acai Miracle smoothie. If I have a Paradise Bowls craving, but can't go all the way to Manhattan Beach to get it, I get my fix here. It is SO GOOD. The service is slow and the people who eat there are more pretentiously vegan than I can handle, but I put up with it to pick up my beautiful smoothie.
3 Square Bakery - I go here for the pretzel bread. It's amazing, it really is. They sell cronuts too!
Now onto the shops, but a BIG disclaimer before I go on: Every boutique on ABK is expensive. Some more than others, but yeah, just as a general rule, it's pretty expensive up in these parts.
Ananda - This place has a weird name, but don't let it turn you off. This place is probably the most reasonably priced shop on ABK, and they have great finds. I frequent here for the cool scarves and unique apparel. They sell bindis too, if you guys wanted to grab some of those.
Principessa - This store is the bomb. I love everything they have. From cool t-shirts and awesome jeans, to sequin tops and party dresses. It's basically a higher quality and overall better LF. And although I love this place, they are HELLA expensive. In consequence, I frequent the sale section a lot, and more often than not, you'll find me unabashedly fishing in the "$10 or less" bin. Anything for the love of clothes, right?
Firefly - This is basically like a mini-Anthropolgie. Has the same kind of stuff - clothes, home items, books - for the same kind of price. I go here to peruse the interesting selection of books, jewelry, and knickknacks. Great place to shop for unique presents.
Urbanic - The wonderstore of stationary goodies. They have the best selection of greeting cards! They are all so adorable. They also have notebooks, pens, and tech accessories too. They also hold calligraphy classes from time to time, which is the coolest thing. Worth a peek!
Margret O'Leary - If you have a pretty penny to spend on cool scarves or cashmere sweaters, go here. And while you're there, buy me a sweater or two, alright?
Satine - The selection of clothes they have? It's all to die for. But in order to walk out of the store with your picks in hand, you'll have to stomach the very hefty price tags and brave the snooty sales ladies. For this place, I window-shop once in a blue moon. Those salesgirls are borderline toxic.
Mona Moore - This is another establishment that's strictly look-only for me. The shoe store, more or less, is set up like a museum. Every beautiful shoe is carefully displayed like the piece of art that it is. The "look but don't touch" rule applies if you're not down to drop around $400 for a pretty pair. But it's definitely worth a walk-through.
Steven Allen Annex - I love this store. Their dresses, button-downs, sweaters and basic tees are all very minimalist and classic. But, you guessed it, this store is damn expensive. Practically everything in this store is on my mental wish list.
Will Leather Goods - When you walk into the store, it smells like leather, which is supremely wonderful. They have unique bags and excellent wallets. Give it a go!
Waraku - The store is full of Japanese imports. They have awesome stuff in here, especially the shoes! They carry a really unique selection of sneakers, make this a destination if your searching for new sneaks.
Mystic Journey Bookstore - Go here for the incense, the ~~magic~~ crystals, the weird books on **enlightenment**, and the hilarity that Mystic Journey offers. I can't promise you'll like it, but it's certainly an interesting store.
I'll start with food, because food is fantastic:
Abbot's Pizza Co. - If you want a quick, cheap, and yummy bite to eat, Abbot's Pizza is your place. They have pizza with their signature "bagel crust," and it's heavenly. They also have gluten-free crust (hell yes) and tons and tons of pizza options. My choice slice: The Salad Pizza on gluten-free crust. Just try it, it's really something else.
Lemonade - There are Lemonades in a lot of lovely places in LA, and they're good all over. The one on ABK is no exception. Go there to pick up one of their signature lemonades before you start perusing the shops. It's so fast, so easy, so friggin' yummy. My fave: Blueberry Mint Lemonade and the gluten-free Chai Spiced Almond cookie.
Gjelina - If you wanna go out for an expensive brunch or dinner with an ambiance to match, Gjelina is your place. Ritzy folks with a funky tilt inhabit the restaurant to full capacity. Go there with your $300 denim, a touch of Coachella on your finery, and make sure you look nonchalant about it. While I have only been there once, my parents have been there several, and they've seen more than a handful of celebrities during their meal. (Although, rumor has it that celebs aren't really frequenting there anymore, it's gone too mainstream.) My pick: the Tuscan Kale salad. It's really good.
GTA (Gjelina Take Away) - So let's say that you want some damn good food for lunch but don't want to deal with the whole sit-down schpeal. GTA is your place. It's right next to Gjelina and is basically a food bar. You line up, order, pick up your food, and sit a nice ivy-shaded alleyway right next to the building to eat. The interior design is a thing of beauty, take note of the white marble. My food of choice: the Brisket Banh Mi sandwich - it's out of this world.
Intelligentsia - If you don't mind paying nearly five bucks for a dreamy cuppa, then this is also your place. The coffee is excellent here, and I'm a self-proclaimed coffee snob so my compliment is well-deserved. Grab your beverage and sit outside to people-watch in the sunshine, but make sure you bring a "deep" book, a newspaper, or your MacBook with you. Without it, you'd be branded as a non-local, which is almost as bad as a tourist around this neck of the woods (and we wouldn't want that now, would we?). What I Order: The Angeleno, or an Americano.
TOMS Roasting Co. - If you go inside the TOMS store on ABK, you'll notice they have a coffee bar inside, and if you go in the back, you'll see they have a pretty roomy outside seating area with comfy pillows, tables, coffee house music, and the like. But be warned my friends: the likelihood that you will sit near someone who has BO due to their hippy cause to conserve water is around 3x more likely here than any other spot on ABK, and they chances that you'll witness some very uncomfortable one-sided flirting from some creepy dude going on across from you is nearly 4x more likely. If you really want to observe the brunt of Venice culture, go here. I usually just order a latte and tote my laptop with me to unwind and people watch.
Kreation - I go here for one reason and one reason only - the Acai Miracle smoothie. If I have a Paradise Bowls craving, but can't go all the way to Manhattan Beach to get it, I get my fix here. It is SO GOOD. The service is slow and the people who eat there are more pretentiously vegan than I can handle, but I put up with it to pick up my beautiful smoothie.
3 Square Bakery - I go here for the pretzel bread. It's amazing, it really is. They sell cronuts too!
There's a crap ton more eateries not covered here, and even more I haven't even tried yet! For a full list of ABK food places, click here.
Now onto the shops, but a BIG disclaimer before I go on: Every boutique on ABK is expensive. Some more than others, but yeah, just as a general rule, it's pretty expensive up in these parts.
Steven Allen Annex - I love this store. Their dresses, button-downs, sweaters and basic tees are all very minimalist and classic. But, you guessed it, this store is damn expensive. Practically everything in this store is on my mental wish list.
Will Leather Goods - When you walk into the store, it smells like leather, which is supremely wonderful. They have unique bags and excellent wallets. Give it a go!
Waraku - The store is full of Japanese imports. They have awesome stuff in here, especially the shoes! They carry a really unique selection of sneakers, make this a destination if your searching for new sneaks.
Mystic Journey Bookstore - Go here for the incense, the ~~magic~~ crystals, the weird books on **enlightenment**, and the hilarity that Mystic Journey offers. I can't promise you'll like it, but it's certainly an interesting store.
These are only my highlights, but there are a ton more shops on ABK. Full list here.
Jun 29, 2014
Book Club #4: To Kill A Mockingbird
Every once in awhile, To Kill A Mockingbird would enter the topic of conversation with my friends, and while they all read it in English class as high school underclassmen, I have never even entertained the thought of reading it. It was my favorite English teacher's favorite, and I've heard the overwhelming praises for this classic from practically everyone. So I decided to just hunker down and read the darn thing.
I am so glad I did. This book just reminded me how important and essential it was to hold on to the child-like view of the world for as long as you possibly can. It just magnified the fact that society, now and then, shapes people in the most horrid ways. When we entered this world, we had no idea of the supposed "societal difference" between the races. We were completely ignorant to the "effects" of one's economic status to one's social standing. It didn't matter what your last name was. Back then, you looked at everyone in the same light, because people were people - no matter their differences. But this book just highlights the absurdity of it all, and the horrific consequences that this school of thought causes.
Once, a friend told me that "Atticus is a bad ass mother fucker." And after reading this book, I have to agree wholeheartedly with that statement. Not only was Atticus brave, but he is also intelligent, honest, and kind. The fact that he was a lawyer just made him more awesome in my eyes. But I think the most important thing was that Atticus was a phenomenal parent. Not in the traditional sense, but he gave his children very important life lessons and life values that I only hope to impart on my children when I become a parent.
I'm probably the last person on the planet to have read this book, but if you haven't yet, I highly urge you do. It's fantastic. They have a movie version too! But, don't be that person who cheaps out and just watches the film without reading the book. The book is always better than the film adaptation. For this book, it's worth the read.
I made a pact with myself that I will read as many books as I possibly can this summer, so expect lots of Book Clubs in the coming future. :)
Jun 16, 2014
Journalism's New Frontier: It's pretty fucking beautiful.
Here I will list some of my favorite "new-start-up-techy" online news outlets that have popped up. So if you want to stay informed without having to deal with Fox/CNN/MSNBC's bullshittery, look no further. Isn't it refreshing? Aren't these new things exciting?! (says the news geek).
I can't fully articulate to you just how much I love this site. I love it so much, it's crazy. They comprehensively explain the news - they give you context and history so you actually know what the fuck is going on in the world beyond what the headlines tell you. It's BEAUTIFUL, ok? Fucking revolutionary, this shit is. And if you aren't impressed with the news part, just go on the site to look at the gorgeous interface and web design. If the graphics on the site don't make you wanna marry the crap out of the site, then don't talk to me.
I also love this little segment of Politico with all my heart. If you want political news with a punch, this is your place. All of their articles are oh-so-very well-written by people who know their shit, and the web design is just out of this world.
People may know VICE for their weird culture magazine. And while this is Vice Media's mainstay, they have been putting serious resources into expand VICE News. They report current events with their signature grit and alternative attitude, their short documentaries are really something else, and they cover important stories from all around the world that aren't really covered by the mainstream media. It's awesome, period.
For most of their stories, they take statistical data and interpret it to current events. God bless.
Have you ever been on BuzzFeed, wasting time reading various lists and taking various quizzes, and then clicked on an interesting headline about Hillary Clinton or Syria or something like that? You then read the article that corresponds to the headline, and then you realize, holy hot shit, I just voluntarily read a news article. That's right guys! YOU JUST READ THE NEWS! Feel proud, because you have taken the first step to becoming an informed electorate and an educated citizen of the world around you. Now read some more. :)
READ THE NEWS IT'S IMPORTANT OK? OK. BYE.
Jun 14, 2014
Playlist #3: Summer 2014
Summer started on Friday. But it's not just any ordinary summer - it's the summer before college. Post-senior-year, mega-stress-free summer.
A summer like this needs a playlist. So here:
A summer like this needs a playlist. So here:
May 24, 2014
The Communication Gap
 |
| This has nothing to do with the post, I just thought it was funny |
This broken communication is highlighted by the tragic UCSB shooting that happened yesterday due to the hand of Elliot Roger, a seriously ego-centric dude on a major God complex and with some influence by the Men's Rights movement. (If you want to read up on how he was influenced by the Men's Rights movement in detail, click here) In his video manifesto, he basically stated that he had no clue why females and popular people as a whole weren't paying attention to him. All he wanted was "adoration" by women and was brutally denied of sex, pleasures and love. Therefore, he was going to go to a sorority house on campus and shoot all the "blonde sluts." You'll just have to watch the video to believe it. It's disgusting.
Facebook automatically blew up with anger. A lot of girls, including myself, couldn't even comprehend this guy's entitlement mentality. He felt that he deserved sex and adoration, and he didn't get it. He, in "retribution," would kill a bunch of girls because "it wasn't fair" that he was a 22 year old that had never been kissed. He granted himself the license to kill because he was no one was paying attention to him, the "supreme gentleman" and "alpha male," while all of the girls threw themselves at other "obnoxious" guys.
But, in reaction to the girls' reaction, the guys blew up a bit too. The guys, in short, stated that it was wrong to drag feminism into a tragedy where people died, and this crime wasn't due to his attitude towards women, but it was his very unstable mental state. Some guys even stated that, by speaking out, the feminists were lumping all men into Men's Rights believers and enablers, even if they were just disagreeing.
So, I feel obligated to clear some of the water between the guys and girls because I was one of those girls that posted on Facebook about this. I can't speak for all girls out there, but I think a lot of them would agree with me. In my opinion, there were a buttload of things that made this guy do what he did, one of them being that he felt that he deserved sex and love from women. I also think that this guy was unstable as hell and had really, really deep-seeded insecurities. So the Men's Rights influence wasn't the sole factor for this, but it was a factor that shouldn't be minimized.
I also think that last month's stabbing of that girl who declined a prom offer by the dude who asked her shows a disturbing start of a trend. I won't call it a full-blown trend because the Prom thing and the UCSB thing is only 2 instances, but I hope to God something like this never happens again. But in these two instances, the girl's "no" was not respected. In both of these situations, the guys acted violently to rejection rather than taking it and moving on. It's very troubling to see that, in these two instances, a girl's "no" was lethal. And I understand that plucking up the courage to approach a girl is hard, and getting rejected is even harder, but that rejection gives the guy no right to act violently. I've been in the guy's shoes too: I asked this guy to Winter Formal this year and he declined. I didn't react violently, nor did I make his life hell afterwards. I just took the hit and moved on. I respected his right to decline my offer, and I didn't feel entitled to a yes.
And when girls are speaking out against a guy's rather horrid actions, we are not clumping ALL guys into this particular guy's category. Let me repeat that: We are not clumping ALL guys into this particular guy's category. This goes for Elliot Roger, this goes for the crazy prom guy, this goes for those disgusting guys who catcall girls and harass them verbally from the sidewalk. WE DON'T MEAN TO CLUMP. WE REALLY DON'T. There are some really great guys out there. We are not men haters. Most guys are normal and nice and totally with it. If you're reading this right now, you're probably one of the good ones. We like guys. We especially like you nice guys in a nice suit. So, please, don't take it personally because it's not personal at all.
So what the hell do girls want? They want to be on equal footing with men, and yet, they want guys to be chivalrous and treat them like princesses? (the princess thing only goes for some girls, I'm not really one of them) They want nice guys, but a nice guy comes along, and they friendzone him. They flirt with guys, they string them along, they make them pay for food and presents and what the hell?! And dude, I empathize with you. Truth of the matter is, girls really don't know what they are feeling 75% of the time, or at least, that's what I'm like. You feel that girls are demanding more from you and giving you less of what you want in return. And I get that, I recognize your frustration. We are pretty damn confusing, so lemme try to clear some stuff up.
The modern woman wants to be respected. The reason why we really hate hearing "get back in the kitchen," and "go make me a sandwich" is because they are commands. No girl, or human being for that matter, likes to be told what to do or be backed into a corner. Does that mean we will never make you a sandwich? NO. I will gladly make you a sandwich if you ask nicely and are respectful. You make me a sandwich in return? You get bonus points. If I really don't want to make you a sandwich because x, y, and z? You can make your own sandwich, and I will make my own as well. Simple as that. We can both make dinner together, or we can switch off, or we can just order takeout (ugh, yum). It's a balance. We are not your subordinates, we don't want to be ballbreakers either. We just want to be your equals. I don't know about other girls, but I hold doors open for guys when I get to the door first, because it's common courtesy. So if you hold a door open for me, I will say "thanks" and be happy that you did, and maybe will hold the door for you sometime in the future.
But at the same time, don't get carried away with "common courtesy" concept. Just because you are nice to a girl, does not mean she owes you anything emotionally or sexually. Just because you give her a great first, second, or third date doesn't mean she owes you sex. Sex is not like making sandwiches for each other or holding doors, it's not a matter of common courtesy. Stuff like that is really personal, and the girl shouldn't feel obligated to give it to you. If she's diggin' you and she's feelin' it, she'll probably let you know. Let that choice be hers, like that choice is for you.
And there is a difference between being nice and friendly and being flirty. Some girls are just natural flirts and her "friendly" might be easily confused with "flirty." That's just humans though - I'm sure guys do the same thing sometimes. If you get a hunch that a girl likes you, but doesn't and wants to remain friends, she shouldn't be punished for that because GUYS DO THE EXACT SAME THING. Girls are friendzoned too - I've been friendzoned! It sucks but you get over it. It's a different story when a girl purposely flirts with a guy to lead him on or have him buy things for her or any other ridiculous thing like that - that's not respectful nor is it right.
The world is different than it was in the '50s. I'd make a horrible housewife, I really would. I'd just get bored and I'm no chef either. But my point is - girls just want to be respected as men's equals. I'm sure the Men's Rights movement just wants respect too. I think both the Feminists and the Men's Rights guys have super extreme wings - but I think that most girls today who like the Feminist movement just want respect and equality, and guys really don't feel like being a girl's servant at her every beck and call. Both guys and girls have desires, wants, and needs, but it's all a give-and-take, two-way-street thing. If we both just understand that, maybe the UCSB tragedy would have never occurred.
And if you read this whole thing, thanks! You deserve a medal. And I spoke kind of candidly too, so if it was weird, sorry. k bye.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)